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Julie's Most Recent Stories
February 9, 2017 at 8:55am EST
These super-cheesy romance novel covers are sure to make you feel some kind of way.
DEFCON 1
Something tells me that uniform isn’t military issue, but she doesn’t seem to mind.
Talk about otherworldly
If his massive sword doesn’t ward off evil spirits, surely his rippling abs will.
Ahoy, matey
“Look, over there in the distance? Do you see it? I believe it’s subtlety. We sailed right by it!”
Royally campy
Only one woman is worthy of his secret, which could be that he’s an invertabrate. Seriously, check the legs.
Their love is flo-real
My best guess is that the wedding had to wait due to floral interference.
Prisoner of love
She is being held captive by his gaze. He is being held captive by his own shirt.
So many questions
Wait, is he the secretary? What do his pecs have to do with this? So. Many. Questions.
Every breath you take
Sting lyrics and a Mountie uniform? Hot doesn’t even begin to cover it.
Match made in heaven
Homeboy’s beige pants look like no pants. Then again, that might be the look he was going for.
Lady in red
Methinketh someone was listening to “Lady in Red” on repeat when this cover was designed.
Harlequin hair, don’t care
This guy could give Fabio a run for his money. I mean… that hair, though.
Innuendo, much?
You know and I know what “sword” is a euphemism for in this scenario.
A shining example
If your love makes the forest glow, it must be true… or, you know, an alien invasion.
On cloud nine
What are they even sitting on? Clouds? Feathers? Baby flamingos?
Great Scot!
Highlander is either being coy, feeling great shame or doing the ol’ pit-sniff B.O. check.
Gettin’ steamy
How chivalrous of him to protect her torso from those dangerously close tiki torches.
Wisteria Lane 2.0
Designer A: “This couple doesn’t seem believable enough.” Designer B: “Add more flowers.”
Hot to trot
The look on the horse’s face pretty much says it all, y’all.
Witchy woman
Her passion apparently burns with the moon’s cold flame, which sounds, well, painful.
Take my breath away
Lady Beresford is clearly enraptured. That, or her corset is too tight and she can’t actually breathe.
When you say nothing at all
Perhaps the heart is silent because it has no idea how to respond to that hair.
Hot on the trail
To be clear, this is nothing like the Matt Damon movie Good Will Hunting.
Fickle fate
“Gosh damn it, Brian… get your head together. I can’t find any pants!”
Shh, don’t tell
For a bed that is trying to keep a secret, that comforter sure is loud.
Happily ever obligated
Ah, yes, the foot pop… an unequivocal sign some serious neckin’ is about to go down.
Like a boss
Who needs a long-haired Lothario when you’ve got a pantsuit like this? Not Valerie.
Hot air balloons, castles & mountains, oh my!
Why stop at hot air balloons when you can do a castle and mountains, too? This cover went for broke.
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